I do not know what has happened to me. It seems that I can control my own thinking just by my will not ration. How weird it is! I just can not believe it. This evening, I have my second-foerign language class and I am just absorbed in my own world, completely do not know what the teacher has said. I am so disappointed, and it seems that I just cannot let the strange thinking pattern of mine go and it convulse time and time again. I need to stay somber-minded, but I am always trapped in it eapecially when I feel disappointment fROM outside, and I guess maybe it is my way of trying to protect myself which was at the same time harmful for myself and which puzzles me quite a lot and make me feel depressed and helpless and no more somber any more and make me feel hard to smile and makes me force a smile which was of course, for me, a miserable thing. But what can I do? Maybe this is my life and this is what life has put into my life. Only when I overcome all these strange thing and know better of myself can I become successful. I think I will never give up. I just do want to give in. The obstacles in my life, once I overcome you, I will be proud of myself and treasure my life at the utmost. Then, nothing could stop me from abtaining happiness and success. Nothing!!!!!!!!!!