on the way to be a well-rounded person


Yes, I suppose I do will live with it for at least a month. I know this process is never that easy and I am prepared to face it, but maybe I am just a coward that I fear everything, and it is this fear that put me onto the edge of breakdown. I am happy that I've already make some progress and I can hold this peaceful state longer than I can in the past, but I am fragile whenever I feel my anxiety. I am too sensitive, I care others affection to me and care quite a lot. so everytime when I experienced this kind of anxiety, I just do not how to do. I am just like a newly born baby with no ability to solve this all. And what is worse is that I need at least two or three days to recover cuz I will be stuck in this mood for a long time and it just will not easily go. They have that when your nerve have a spasm or convulsion, you just need to let it go cuz the more you care about it, the more nervous you will get and the more suffering you need to bear. I gather this is the way in which god tests me, cuz he knows that my way and my attitude towards life is wrong or at least at some extent and he wants me to know how to change myself to adjust to this society and the life itself. In this way, I can lead a better life and free from the huge emotional crackdown in the rest of life. and what I always need to do is to be brave, to be brave to face it, to be brave to live with it and to be brave to look forward.

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